I always struggle to describe myself. It's like trying to describe color to someone who's never seen them, I could tell you the wavelength, but is that all color is to us? Introductions were probably my most hated thing in schools, introduce yourself to the class! How is one supposed to distill oneself into a few sentences, or if we are being generous, in a few paragraphs, when we spend our whole lives figuring out who we are. Maybe I should try to define myself by telling you that I don't know myself well at all, but am striving to see my facets, the edges, jagged or smooth from all angles, turn it this way, then that way, shine light on them from all directions, or perhaps leave them completely in the dark to feel by touch alone. Maybe that's what the website is about. Discovering what a self is, and what being human means to me.
This excrept from Genesis by Bernard Beckett, where Art and Adam argue about what makes Adam different from Art, and Adam frustrated bursts out into speech of what it means to be human, while not fully convinced himself stuck with me, perhaps this says something about myself too, I welcome you to interpret it:
" I am not a machine. For what can a machine know of the smell of wet grass in the morning, or the sound of a crying baby? I am the feeling of the warm sun against my skin; I am the sensation of a cool wave breaking over me. I am the places I have never seen, yet imagine when my eyes are closed. I am the taste of another's breath, the color of her hair.You mock me for the shortness of my life span, but it is this very fear of dying that breathes life into me. I am the thinker who thinks of thought. I am curiosity, I am reason, I am love and I am hatred. I am indifference. I am the son of a father, who in turn was a father's son. I am the reason my mother laughed and the reason my mother cried. I am wonder and I am wondrous. Yes, the world may push your buttons as it passes through your circuitry. But the world does not pass through me. It lingers. I am in it and it is in me. I am the means by which the universe has come to know itself. I am the thing no machine can ever make. I am meaning. "
Ramblings aside, here are some things that I find interesting:
